A Desperate Blogger’s Guide on “How To Become Famous”

“I have a blog but I hardly ever get any comments.”

“I post everyday and yet the number of my blog hits per day I can count on one hand! – and that’s on GOOD days!”

“Those who do visit my blog never leave comments.”

“My other blogger friends have people reading their blogs but I was the one who started blogging first!”

“I do not exists in the blogosphere. Why should I even keep blogging? I guess I’ll just delete my blog and wallow in self-pity.” 

*** 

Any (or all) of the above sound like you?

Then you’ve come to the right place!

Because this is YOUR (dear blogger) guide on “How To Become [a] Famous [blogger]“.

So sit back and DON’T delete your blog just yet…

You might find some of these “tips” helpful :-

Heard them all before you say? Well, I doubt you’ve heard these…

-Famous or Notorious?-

How-to-become-famous Tip #1:

Write about politics and/or current issues. It’s proven. Socio-political bloggers tend to get more attention than any other kind of blogger! All you have to do is be alert for the “politicking” around you, have an opinion and express your opinion on your blog. Simple right? Well, it would also help if you put your opinions in sharp, crisp, so-painful-yet-true, blatant and downright “harsh” words.

How-to-become-famous Tip #2:

Make fun of famous people, places and/or things. As above, remember to use sharp, crisp, blatant and downright “harsh” words. Rudeness is a must. Do not be afraid to hurt the feelings of your readers and the whole world if necessary because an angry reader will more likely leave you a comment. And an angry world?…well, you will certainly become “famous” after you manage to do that.

How-to-become-famous Tip #3:

The idea of a blog is for a person to express yourself in writing. But if you’re not very good with words, don’t fret! You can always be artistic instead! Find a famous song or even better, make your own song and post it on youtube. You don’t even have to sing well! The important thing is that the lyrics are put in such-a-way that the message (preferably on politics/current issue/famous things) is sharp, crisp, blatant and downright “rude”. You’ll have more hits than you can count on all four limbs and then some.

How-to-become-famous Tip #4:

But if you can’t write and you’re not artistic, then only one thing can be done. (But this will only work if you’ve got the looks.) What? Whore. Not THAT kind of whore mind you! A blogwhore is a blogger that uses his (usually its a her) blog to post sexy and provocative pictures of themself. That’s it. You don’t even need to use a lot of words – just pictures and a simple “Hi! This is why I’m hot!” will guarante you a lot of attention and fame.

Last but not least…

How-to-become-famous Tip #5:

Dare to try and make a difference in the world. Start the ball rolling like this dude! He didn’t need to use sharp, crisp, so-painful-yet-true, blatant and downright “harsh” words. He didn’t have to be rude or anger his readers or the world. In fact, he made the world and the lives of those children so much better…just because he wanted to. Popularity just came on its own.

P.S. - Thanks to those who did the Tag for Charity. We made a difference, although indirectly, maybe small, but its a BIG difference to the kids. God bless us all…

P.P.S - This post was to be read in a sarcastic tone, with a pinch of salt and fries on the side. 

Disclaimer: This blog and its author DOES NOT CONDONE making fun of anything or anyone; the use of sharp, crisp, so-painful-yet-true, blatant and downright “harsh” words or rudeness; the “piracy” of art and awful singing; whoring in any meaning of the word and EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOVE Tip #5.