A Desperate Blogger’s Guide on “How To Become Famous”

“I have a blog but I hardly ever get any comments.”

“I post everyday and yet the number of my blog hits per day I can count on one hand! – and that’s on GOOD days!”

“Those who do visit my blog never leave comments.”

“My other blogger friends have people reading their blogs but I was the one who started blogging first!”

“I do not exists in the blogosphere. Why should I even keep blogging? I guess I’ll just delete my blog and wallow in self-pity.” 

*** 

Any (or all) of the above sound like you?

Then you’ve come to the right place!

Because this is YOUR (dear blogger) guide on “How To Become [a] Famous [blogger]”.

So sit back and DON’T delete your blog just yet…

You might find some of these “tips” helpful :-

Heard them all before you say? Well, I doubt you’ve heard these

-Famous or Notorious?-

How-to-become-famous Tip #1:

Write about politics and/or current issues. It’s proven. Socio-political bloggers tend to get more attention than any other kind of blogger! All you have to do is be alert for the “politicking” around you, have an opinion and express your opinion on your blog. Simple right? Well, it would also help if you put your opinions in sharp, crisp, so-painful-yet-true, blatant and downright “harsh” words.

How-to-become-famous Tip #2:

Make fun of famous people, places and/or things. As above, remember to use sharp, crisp, blatant and downright “harsh” words. Rudeness is a must. Do not be afraid to hurt the feelings of your readers and the whole world if necessary because an angry reader will more likely leave you a comment. And an angry world?…well, you will certainly become “famous” after you manage to do that.

How-to-become-famous Tip #3:

The idea of a blog is for a person to express yourself in writing. But if you’re not very good with words, don’t fret! You can always be artistic instead! Find a famous song or even better, make your own song and post it on youtube. You don’t even have to sing well! The important thing is that the lyrics are put in such-a-way that the message (preferably on politics/current issue/famous things) is sharp, crisp, blatant and downright “rude”. You’ll have more hits than you can count on all four limbs and then some.

How-to-become-famous Tip #4:

But if you can’t write and you’re not artistic, then only one thing can be done. (But this will only work if you’ve got the looks.) What? Whore. Not THAT kind of whore mind you! A blogwhore is a blogger that uses his (usually its a her) blog to post sexy and provocative pictures of themself. That’s it. You don’t even need to use a lot of words – just pictures and a simple “Hi! This is why I’m hot!” will guarante you a lot of attention and fame.

Last but not least…

How-to-become-famous Tip #5:

Dare to try and make a difference in the world. Start the ball rolling like this dude! He didn’t need to use sharp, crisp, so-painful-yet-true, blatant and downright “harsh” words. He didn’t have to be rude or anger his readers or the world. In fact, he made the world and the lives of those children so much better…just because he wanted to. Popularity just came on its own.

P.S. – Thanks to those who did the Tag for Charity. We made a difference, although indirectly, maybe small, but its a BIG difference to the kids. God bless us all…

P.P.S – This post was to be read in a sarcastic tone, with a pinch of salt and fries on the side. 

Disclaimer: This blog and its author DOES NOT CONDONE making fun of anything or anyone; the use of sharp, crisp, so-painful-yet-true, blatant and downright “harsh” words or rudeness; the “piracy” of art and awful singing; whoring in any meaning of the word and EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOVE Tip #5.

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15 responses to “A Desperate Blogger’s Guide on “How To Become Famous”

  1. Haha. Haha. Haha.

    I blog for my own satisfactions, for leisure and it is a place where I can make new friends .. And since my English is kind of horrible, so I lovingly describe my blog as a place for me to try to write well.. I don’t really mengharap people to comment on me. Really. 🙂 And I love reading people entries and if I am kind of rajin then I’ll comment on it. It is so therapeutic to read and to write as well as to comment. Yes, I am a stalkers.

    And I fell in love with wordpress. I wanna move to wordpress soon. I’ve tried LJ and Blogger but honestly, WordPress is much-much better. I’ll inform you if I officially move to WordPress. Hehe. I’d love to protect my anonymity, inshaAllah. Can’t really promise for that cus sometimes I can’t stop myself from bragging. Haha!

  2. reading comments is one of the most “best” thing in blogging I guess. It somehow kept me writing. If let say nobody comments on it, I’ll be very dissapointed. Entertaining comments itself is indeed very entertaining. I just can’t wait.

    Nono : Livejournal, what I find is, it took time to load and commenting is not so easy for non-livejournal user. So, like I said previously, in terms performance, nothing beats wordpress .. it’s by far the best. I would like to welcome you to the wp family. 🙂 Be apart of it. Trust me, you’ll like it.

  3. Ever since blogging, i feel the best part about it is not so much of the writing although of coz that’s one of the reasons why i started to blog. The best part is actually making friends, (like you ;). Actually i don’t really mind if no one reads or comment on my blog b’coz i use it as a space where i can improve and express myself, so the readers and comments are indeed added bonus! And, of course that’s important because only through your reader’s comments, you know you have made new friends (like you, Mar.). But when my good friends doesn’t read my blog i’ll feel quite sad coz blogging is part of my life now. No matter what blogging is FUN. I guess even if no one reads, i’ll still continue to blog..

  4. Clement, yes..blogging to become famous IS sad…

    Nono, your English not bad lah…Trust me,I’ve came across worse! 🙂 And I also find writing and commenting therapeutic sometimes…but its always FUN..that much I can say. Hehe…Glad you joined WP,I’ll update my link when I find your WP. 🙂 You’ll love it in WP. I know I do.

    Cibol, yes…reading and replying comments really makes my day.

    Drumsticks, EXACTLY! What I find coolest about blogging is getting to know people and making new friends through blogs! That’s just..a reward on its own. Friends over Fame for me. 🙂 …and blogger meets are so much FUN. Too bad I couldn’t join y’all…next time… Yea,I also feel sad sometimes when close friends don’t read my blog because that’s where I update what’s happening in my life and how I feel and stuff…its a way of keeping in touch when you’re miles apart…

    Zewt dear, I know I’m someone in the blogosphere cos I’ve got all you wonderfully famous people reading my blog! 🙂 Seriously, I don’t want to be famous…at least NOT by following the “tips” above…that was me being sarcastic. I don’t want to do any of those. If I am to be famous, I want it to be because I AM A GOOD WRITER and people enjoy reading my “work” and NOT by following those “tips”.

    Cibol, I’m not the “desperate blogger”…I don’t want to be “famous”…I’m happy with how things are now – making new friends through my blog, having a little circle of friends where everyone knows everyone else. That’s what makes blogging and everything REAL.

    Lola, hahaha…”How To Become A Famous Blogger for Dummies”…too long a title lah. I propose we call our book “FameBlogging for Dummies”…whadaya say? 🙂

  5. Hi, I also started a blog about how to become famous .. famous in whatever 🙂
    I wanted to tell about my success on hi5 🙂 but i don’t want to make publicity right here but instead to comment at this post.
    What Laura says: “how about we create a book for dummies on how to become a famous blogger?” is a brilliant idea.

    If you want to be a success in blogging you MUST blog about something you know very well, about your community. tell the story of your day 🙂

  6. Hi Mike.
    Guess you didn’t read my P.P.S. and Disclaimer and my reply to Zewt’s comment above:

    Seriously, I don’t want to be famous…at least NOT by following the “tips” above…that was me being sarcastic. I don’t want to do any of those. If I am to be famous, I want it to be because I AM A GOOD WRITER and people enjoy reading my “work” and NOT by following those “tips”.

    Thanks for the advice…but Fame is not what I’m after…Like what I replied to drumsticks, Friends over Fame for me.

    Thanks for dropping by! 🙂

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