It’s complicated

I’m sure you’re all farmiliar with that huh?

Status in friendster? It’s complicated.

So how are you guys doing? It’s complicated.

Is everything okay? It’s complicated.

Can you say anything else aside from “it’s complicated”?It’s complicated.

Really…sometimes I feel that phrase is just over-used, over-rated and is simply an excuse for any further discussion!

And what is the most complicated of “It’s complicated”s?

I’ve had this thought in my head for a while now and then when I read drumstick’s post I thought now would be the time to post about this.


Everyone’s fave subject.

What equates to the perfect relationship?

10% luck?

20% skill?

15% concentrated power of will?

5% pleasure?

50% pain?

I wish I had a 100% formula to answer that question…

Since it’s USUALLY a guy-meets-girl-and-guy-gets-girl scenario, let’s just make this one of those rare scenarios where girl-meets-boy shall we? 🙂

Girl and Guy and many other mutual friends attend this party together…and somehow, out of the many people in that group of friends, Girl and Guy were suddenly seen by others as being “together” as in “a couple”, when of course, they were not. But from that “weird” moment on, they decided, “let’s play along” and therefore successfully conned everyone at the party that they were indeed “together”…and in that process, Girl actually started to have feelings for Guy

Later, Girl asked Guy: “They already think we’re together…I don’t like lying. Why don’t we be couples – for real?”

And from then on, Girl and Guy kept in touched practically every day…

…practically every day…but it has always been Girl who seemed to make the first move. Girl was the first to sms. Girl was the first to call. Girl was the first to admit her feelings. And Girl felt that being 1st constantly was really really worrying…and Girl starts to question whether Guy is in the relationship or not…

Cibol had this in his YM status once: “It’s a game. Manipulation of emotions.”

And he elaborated that in his post:

“It’s a game of power, manipulation of emotions to control someone’s mind. And yes its a serious game. It’s a game where one who displays their emotions first, gives up total control to the next and goes around like a dog on a collar.”

Is that really how the “game” is to be played?

So it was wrong that Girl displayed her emotions 1st?

That’s the difference between Girls and Guys

I’ve never been in a relationship before, but based on my observations of those who have been/are in one, girls wear their hearts on their sleeves. When we’re happy, you know it. When we’re sad, you know it. When we’re hurt, you know it. But Guys…I believe the term is “ego”…when they’re happy, they might show it. When they’re sad/hurt, they seldom show it…well, except maybe the way they show it is different? Or maybe that all’s because of this “game”plan of theirs…?

Girls/Guys, is it wrong to let Guy/Girl know how much he/she means to you? Is it wrong for Guy/Girl to let you know how much you mean to him/her?

I dunno. It’s complicated. Why don’t you tell me?

12 responses to “It’s complicated

  1. Mar, personally i don’t think its wrong for a girl to express her feelings for the guy. Some relationships might not have started if the girl didn’t express herself, in cases where the guy doesn’t make the first move. their personality gua? I suppose, a lot of guys fear rejection, that’s why they want to be really really sure that the girl will say yes to them before making his move.

    Yea.. very complicated.. guys are complex creatures.

  2. come to think of it.. guy doesn’t make the first move because of many many reasons lor… sometimes its not that they don’t want, more like they can’t make up their minds? Can’t move on from their previous relationship?

    but of course we appreciate the guy to make the first move… we will feel he is more like a man.. and we more like ladies..

  3. where’s there such thing as its complicated? ha ha, there are only 5 status ever~ single, married, divorced, widow, widower! complicated, in a relationship is still considered as single~
    ha ha..

  4. lifestyle guides of the 21st century

    Yeah, that easy


    Your aim is to be that person who you always despised due to their unflinching competency, leaving your top ten attempts at even wiping your arse as a 34 year old, stained and tragically rubbed in. This guide makes you to come back from your smeared, indivisible talentless wreck of a embittered self-esteem and be that unimaginable saint of a half arsed dream.

    Definably low

    Perfection is the reaching the highest attainable standard. You aren’t this, because your reading this you aren’t even close your actually getting further away from ever reaching this by every word read on this page. You’re so useless you can’t even heed the advice this page is saying by not stopping reading this, duly lowering your intelligence and abilities every second, every letter, every lack of mindful understanding of your unending search of perfectection has lead you to persist unaware in that you have just completed the first goal, belligerence.

    You have to fight, fight to be perfect, because rubbish is for tramps and seagulls, and you don’t shit on pensioners or blow people for kid’s meals, anymore. Listen to your heart unless it’s telling you to blow people then listen to your soul and find everything you need to find without acting like a dickhead or visiting the Samaritans, unless it is to volunteer because your so god damn selfless and unjudging, even if someone rings up saying they’ve just got aids while working with gorillas.

    Scarred by normality

    Look at yourself,

    go on.

    Any lumps bumps, pumps, veins, scars, cysts, warts, fix and fast with the wonder of our modern suppressive age, yes Playdough surgery . Any lazy sack can move their swollen sausage fingers into their equally bulging wallets and get an immoral surgeon to suck, sow, staple, and burn off their imperfects and make you look like you’re caught in a unending wind tunnel. Faaabulous, aparently.


    Perfect people seem to have a glow about themselves. MFI’S lighting department or Russian reactors are the quick fix versions, even if it’s pitch black your benevolence will reach small fishing boats and large fireflies negotiating the treachery that is water and air.

    Look at you

    When you walk down the street feeling pretty chuffed about yourself cos you just got your new jacket from eBay and two admittedly scally sluts have just stared you up and down without even a husky snigger.

    You turn onto the main road to be greeted with the sharpest, colour wheel coloured, outrageously understated entity of beauty. Your initial decision to fling yourself sacrificially shouting “take me, boy/girl, do anything you so wish until your finished with me.” Has been subsequently revised to a glance of ‘hey’ and a slight sneer if the glance wasn’t reciprocated which it invariably isn’t which implies that in future you should drop the whole ‘hey‘ and just sneer.

    That‘s what you need to look like. I know, looking at that thing you call a wardrobe only because of the dimensional shape, you instantly conclude you could scarsely construct an outfit without a suspiciously white stain adorning some part of it. There seems less than no hope. Just remember one thing, everyone looked shit at one point in their lives. That perfect specimen of corture had a perm, too much foundation and some cargo pants once.


    Everything you now buy should be chose because it makes you look more like you’ve breezed in from a aftershow at Amy Winhouse’s house than sat cramped round a student flat with damp shoes using your tried and failed technique of non conversational flirtation over the only unattractive slutily dressed dreg of a appalling night in Scumthorpe . Don’t dress because you need a shirt and their two for one and It kinda looks ok on you even if the size you wanted isn’t in stock and xl is the only one left so you have to tuck the back in like you pitching a army field tent in a Glastonbury festival sized plot of shit-mud.


    -ly fucking useless. As your probably blatently aware Perfection, regardless of perceived celebrity fallacy, or self-improvement ideologies is only true in diamond sunsets and on planet out-of-your-fucking-tree. Everything else is joyously imperfect, scared and human. So be glad that everyone in the world hides inperfections because they know, if you found some of them out, before you’ve already slept with them, then you’d guiltlessly, unflinchingly bolt.

    Everyone, even your super cool mate with the bow ties has personality flaws that at times makes even their closest friends cringe with “ohhh, geez im not with that.” We love to atone to our self defeating facets that regardless of success, happiness, career-house-family, want to leave everything and move to Botswana, kill wilderbeasts and wear misguided loin cloths. We get bored, we do half arsed work, we still maintain commitment our prime program to hunt a fuck or converse to be fucked (lie as you do, you all think it.) We slack, we lie, we do things that we can’t even tell ourselves, but after all that, we should be glad of it, because that makes us interesting.

    …for more go to

  5. bongkersz,
    Uncomplicate it lah…why’d u have to go and make things so complicated? 😀

    Guys are complex creatures? I thought that’s what people say about Girls. LOL. I AGREE…It’s like they can’t make up their minds/can’t move on from their previous relationship.
    We want guys to make the first move…ABSOLUTELY! But now its like so rare liddat…looks like the peribahasa “takkan perigi mencari timba” really have to be scraped off the Dewan Bahasa books as its not relevant anymore…

    ha ha..that’s one way to look at it. LOL. But really…ever since Friendster, “it’s complicated” seems to be the “in”-thing when it comes to talking about relationships. Everyone wants to put “It’s complicated” as their status…go figure…

    True…so true…sometimes wish we didn’t have to think so much huh?

    ‘Loudsir de Peng You’,
    Cis…terkezut me! I thought the real loudsir visit my blog just now…paru2nya its you! LOL.
    Not everything goes to the Guys lah…but when it comes to relationships, we girls would rather have the guys make the first move since that was the way it has always been since the beginning of time…Adam came before Eve maa…Eve out of Adam’s ribs…

  6. Hmm.. initeresting, but sometimes, you just can’t help to feel that the girl crowds the guy too much, that the guuy want to run.. Errr.. I guess it is the girl’s fault..kekeke

  7. cdason,
    So you’re saying its wrong for the girl to show the guy how she feels? If so, then the guy also don’t make the first move, then how will they ever know how the other feels leh? So complicated lah you guys…

  8. No lah..
    what I mean.. when a girl is with a guy(already together), they should realize that there are things which should wait. For instance the ‘marriage question’ or the question of moving in together.. meeting parents, or what ever questions which might make the guy shocked or unprepared.. you know, questions related to commitment.

    I feel that when the guys is ready to commit, he will willingly burst the question.. and in the most romantic way possible he can..

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