Tik Tok

Everyone is paid for the work they do…the difference is HOW?

Some are paid day wages – you come to work today, you get paid. If tomorrow you don’t then no pay.

Some are paid a fixed amount every month – irregardless if all you do that month is just sitting at your desk looking pretty.

Some are paid a percentage of their sales, aka commissions.

For people in my line of work, we get paid monthly yes, but not just to look pretty…we actually have to work ‘cos we have to document what we actually do in that month. How? By filling in Time Sheets

Every single second of every minute of every hour has to be recorded which is logically impossible…how do you record toilet time for example? Using a stopwatch? -.-” Which is why in some organizations (like in my previous firm) they have “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” recorded in their Time Sheets every day.

That said, imagine receiving this MEMO from your Accounting Department :-

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Attached: Extended Job-Code List

Code Description
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 Updating Resume
6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 Out of Office on Interview
6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602 Complaining
6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 Staring Into Space
6612 Staring At Computer Screen
6615 Transcendental Meditation
6969 Beating off in Broom Closet
7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 Recreational Drug Use
8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 Liquid Lunch
8100 Reading e-mail
8102 Laughing while reading e-mail

Make sure you put the correct code when filling your timesheets from now on yea? ๐Ÿ˜€

Note: I got the above from a friend’s notes and is not an actual Memo. I think.

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When you’re gone

As I mentioned in my previous post, TWO things were revealed to me yesterday…One was of course, the wedding-that-is-currently-the-talk-of-the-town, and the other was…

A close colleague of mine is leaving the Firm.

Next Friday!

And today I found out that apparently, I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW?! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

She was SOOOO fortunate she decided to tell me during lunch yesterday (nearly killing me with a sausage at it too!) cos when it came time to call it a day, another colleague blatantly asked her “When is your last day?”

Just IMAGINE if she hadn’t told me yet…

More than annoyed, more than anger, I would have been really really HURT. REALLY.

For me personally, I will make sure that if something BIG happens in MY life, something like, I don’t know, me leaving the job? (when we work together) or me leaving the country? or me getting married (which will not happen anytime soon so don’t bother asking! LOL.) I am sure to personally let those close to me be among the first to know…

That said, as I told her, she was THIS close to hurting me, but fortunately, she PERSONALLY told me before I heard it elsewhere (and it also helped that they didn’t hear it from her personally – you know how the “gossip” culture is like in offices, which I really really dislike fyi) so yeah…

THANKS SUE for being a good friend at work (and off)

You were the first person to say Hi to me when I started working here…and now, with you going, who will accompany me for lunch? Huhuhu…

I’ll miss you… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

All the best with your new job starting next month!!!

And remember, whatever happened at your-soon-to-be-former-office stays at your-soon-to-be-former-office k! ๐Ÿ˜‰

P.S. I’ll try very very hard not to cry on your last day…maybe if I started now it wouldn’t be so bad on the actual day? haha…I seriously doubt that…

Half a day has gone…

And what have I accomplished?

Well, considering it IS a workday where I should be doing work-related stuff, absolutely positively horrendously nothing! Zilch! Nada! Nil!

IT”S HORRIFIC I TELL YOU!

Bet you wanna know WHY I’ve been so “productive” huh?

Would you be satisfied if I told you that I hate my job, I hate my boss and I wish I didn’t have to go to work?

Would you be satisfied if I said I’m so swamped at work that I can’t breathe, can’t concentrate and the only thing keeping me sane is to whine about work on my blog?

Or would you rather me say that there actually is no reason for my unproductivity but that I’m just freaking lazy?

Honestly, I dont care what you think or prefer my reason to be! I am just not productive today and this is me venting cos I’m angry with myself for it!

No, I don’t HATE my job, or my boss. Nor do I LOVE it. Hate/Love are strong words. I’ve had good times, not-so-good times, great times and awful times – a well balanced relationship (I hope) – with regards to me and my job.

Yes, I am kinda swamped right now but not really with “work” work…more with “not-work” work that is taking up quite a lot of my time and efforts and energy…and as much as this “not-work” work is something that gives me joy and satisfaction, it can be really really draining sometimes…

Times like today in particular when I forsee I’ll be busy every weekend and even weekday (after office hours) from hereon till next year! Yes, I may sound like I’m complaining (and in a way I am) but again, I want to do these things! Just. That. I. Get. So. Tired. And. Frustrated. At. Times.

Doesn’t help also that my “monthly visitor” is here today…making my stomach feel like its been run-over by a bulldozer! Grrghhh!

So yes, all of the above is my crazy hormones talking…hopefully the second half of today can be productive! *cross fingers*

I will need…

1. A Badminton Racket

For the past 8 weeks(?) the Firm has been organising badminton sessions every Friday after work. So far, I’ve only been to 3 sessions I think. Apart from Friday meaning I usually immediately embark on my 1-hr drive to Seria for the weekends, another reason is, I don’t have a racket! I don’t wanna have to borrow from the others all the time. It just doesn’t feel “nice”. Sure, perhaps they really don’t mind, but still…

And do you know how expensive REAL racketsย  (i.e. not the heavy, imitation rackets) cost? ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

2. A Laptop

The past couple of weeks I have been using the Firm’s laptop. Cool? Well, apparently not really because:

– I can only use it IN the office (means not allowed to bring back home)

– I am not allowed to use it to go online with it. WT…?!

My dream laptop…

And people around logically think that I would own a laptop rather than own a car. Dang! I’m driving my OWN car which I pay for with MY hard-earned cash okay?!

3. A Better Phone

Do you know what phone I am using now? It’s a Sony Ericsson K500i (I think) – a very basic phone. It can only be used for texting, calls and it only has internal memory which is really2 limited. It has a camera but it didn’t come with any cable for data transfer, and bluetooth is also not possible as it only has infrared. I know its better than the olden day Nokia 3310 (my very 1st cellphone which I probably would still be using if it hadn’t been stolen) but with the capability of surfing the net on cellphones these days I am really really really missing out, almost at a disadvantage.

Which is better? The Apple iPhone, the HTC Touch or the Nokia Nseries (which one)?

4. Digital Camera

Since I don’t have a decent camera phone, it would have helped if I had a digital camera but I don’t have that either.

Sony Cyebershot okay? Or a Canon? Or something else?

Furthermore, I really really need one by July. Why? Because there was an internal memo made out the past week. It read:

Subject: Staff outing Trip to Kota Kinabalu

Please be informed that there will be an outing trip to Kota Kinabalu, departing on 18 July 2009 and back on 20 July 2009. The Firm will bear the airfare and local organized tours. All staffs are encouraged to join. Please submit a copy of your passport to XX by 1 May 2009 for ticket and accomodation reservation.

Super sweet!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

Surprisingly, there are actually those who even THINK of NOT going. Why they would want to waste an expenses-paid trip I would never understand!

C’mon people…SEIZE THE MOMENT! CARPE DIEM! ๐Ÿ™‚

So yeah, basically, those are the items on my wishlist. It’s not too early to make one right? (My birthday is on 12 May) ๐Ÿ˜‰

Where are you?

Most people always associate accountants (thus by extension, auditors as well) to be “square”, “nerdy”, “boring”, etc. If you are one of them, don’t bother reading this cos it might bore you to death…

~~~

Last week, me and 6 other colleagues were sent for this 2-day Audit Seminar at the Risqun International Hotel in Gadong. There were a few other participants from other companies and firms but we were the majority. The speaker came all the way from Malaysia, has 13 years of experience in the audit field and was in one of the Big 4.

I’m not gonna touch about the seminar. I’m just gonna share with you some “boring” happenings and conversations that took place during the 2nd day. However, to understand what I’ll be sharing, you will need at least some very basic accounting knowledge.

He said:

When you first join your Firm/Company, you are not an Asset to your Boss. In fact, you are a Liability. This is because when you first join, you are a Junior, you don’t have much experience and you only do what you are told. Your Seniorsย  and Managers will have to spend time to guide you and you will be making errors. Thus, you are actually a Liability.

We laughed at this because we were amused. Never saw ourselves as items in the Balance Sheet before but we could relate and agree with what he said. It doesn’t matter what you work as, when you first start, you are a Liability.

He continued:

Only after some time, you start to know how to do your job better then only you are no longer a Liability. At this time, you are an…

We answered:

Asset

He shook his head.

No. You are an Expense.

He went on to explain:

You are not yet an Asset because at this time, even if you are there (in your Company) or not, it doesn’t really matter. Yes, you are a Senior and you are making money for your Boss but your Boss is also paying your salary…so whether you are there or not, doesn’t matter much because you are an Expense.

Again, we were amused. So now we’re Income Statement items too?

He went on:

After some years of being an Expense, you become more experienced…get promoted…become Managers…then only do you become an Asset. This is because now you are actually of value to your Boss.ย  You are independent, and have major roles and responsibilities in your Company. Meaning, your Company cannot afford to lose you. But even then, you are a Non-Current Asset, because you are expected to still be with your Company for a number of years…

However, at one point in time, when you become SO good at your job…chances are you will be looking to move on to your next career…thus, your Boss will expect that you would want to leave the Company. At that time, you become a Current Asset.

That happened during the morning session, so you can imagine the “fun” we colleagues had over delicious hotel lunch:

Me: It’s funny. Can you imagine if at the office we would be calling each other like: “Hey Expenses!”

Colleague#1: So, are you an Asset or an Expense?

Colleague#2: I think we are Expenses since we are Seniors.

Me: Yeah, Expense.

Colleague#3: I’m not a Senior. I think I am a Liability.

Colleague#4: Liability, definitely.

[Colleague#5 & Colleague#6 are Managers and they took no part in our conversation.]

Colleague#1: I think I am an Expense.

Colleague#2: No, you Asset one…Cannot be Expense. [Colleague#1 was the most Senior of us Seniors there.]

Long story short, in the end,

-> Colleague#1 professed to be “Amount Due To Related Parties”(Asset),

-> Colleague#2 called me “Loss on FOREX”(Expense) – just because I’m a Foreigner?! – and professed to be “Loss on Disposal”(Expense),

-> Colleague#3 decided to be “Accruals”(Libility) and

-> Colleague#4 claimed to be “Short-Term Borrowings”(Liability)

and not to miss out on the fun, they named

-> Colleague#5 as “Intangible Asset”(Asset) and

-> Coleague#6 as “Goodwill”(Asset).

The speaker also mentioned that while Assets are expected to move/change jobs, some are not even Assets yet (maybe an Expense or worse, still a Liability) when they move so in their next job they are a Liability and the cycle begins…always a Liability, never an Asset…not a good thing to be in life’s Balance Sheet.

And it doesn’t just apply to working life either. Think of this:

When you were small, you were not yet an Asset. You were a Liability to your parents. You make them worried, they spend lots of time and money on you and you don’t contribute in any way. As you grow up, you are an Expense since you may contribute by helping out here and there but the family will have to support you through school. But when you start working, then you will be an Asset because you can help the family now.

So, where are you in the Accounts of Life? Balance Sheet or Income Statement? Liability or Asset or Expense?

P.S. Hey, Short-Term Borrowings…remember, anything you read on my blog is for your eyes only ah… ๐Ÿ˜‰ and no discussing any of it in front of the other Balance Sheet and Income Statement items ok? ๐Ÿ˜€

Two

Today, 1st April 2009, is a special day and No, its not because of April’s Fool.

It’s because today Perfect Imperfections turns 2!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

Apart from that, today also marks my being in the working world for 2 years already

1 year 4 months in Kuching and 6 months (and counting) here in Brunei.

Time sure flies…

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY TO PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS!

๐Ÿ˜€

HAPPY 2nd WORKINGVERSARY TO ME!

P.S. Post backdated. ๐Ÿ˜‰

P.P.S. T-shirt above can be purchased online: http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/

Reasons why…

THIS YEAR…

(And it has nothing to do with S.A.D.)

I will LOVE the final week of February this time around…

Reason #1:-
I will be going to Sibu tomorrow. Its a surprise trip and my Mom and bro in Sibu have NO idea we’re coming! Hehehe…Now, ssshhhh! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Reason #2:-
Monday next week is PUBLIC HOLIDAY here in Brunei thus a longer weekend (which explains why Reason #1)! So will only get back to Brunei on Monday.

Reason #3:-

After I get back from Sibu, I DON’T have to drive back up to Bandar for work ‘cos next week I will be “outstation” at a client’s office – which is WALKING distance from my family house in Seria! Cool…can experience leaving from home to work and back…Too bad Mom’s not here. She would have been thrilled…

But nevermind, Reason #1. ๐Ÿ™‚

So yeah…I’m gonna love this coming week…

In the meanwhile, here’s wishing Brunei (and Bruneians) a Happy 25th National Day this Monday…

To the rest, enjoy the normal Sat & Sun weekend okay? *evil laugh* Muahahaha!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

And since February will soon be over, a close on the topic of S.A.D…

This is how I feel:-

Hehehe…

And its hello March! ๐Ÿ˜‰