Tik Tok

Everyone is paid for the work they do…the difference is HOW?

Some are paid day wages – you come to work today, you get paid. If tomorrow you don’t then no pay.

Some are paid a fixed amount every month – irregardless if all you do that month is just sitting at your desk looking pretty.

Some are paid a percentage of their sales, aka commissions.

For people in my line of work, we get paid monthly yes, but not just to look pretty…we actually have to work ‘cos we have to document what we actually do in that month. How? By filling in Time Sheets…

Every single second of every minute of every hour has to be recorded which is logically impossible…how do you record toilet time for example? Using a stopwatch? -.-” Which is why in some organizations (like in my previous firm) they have “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” recorded in their Time Sheets every day.

That said, imagine receiving this MEMO from your Accounting Department :-

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Attached: Extended Job-Code List

Code Description
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 Updating Resume
6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 Out of Office on Interview
6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602 Complaining
6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 Staring Into Space
6612 Staring At Computer Screen
6615 Transcendental Meditation
6969 Beating off in Broom Closet
7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 Recreational Drug Use
8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 Liquid Lunch
8100 Reading e-mail
8102 Laughing while reading e-mail

Make sure you put the correct code when filling your timesheets from now on yea? 😀

Note: I got the above from a friend’s notes and is not an actual Memo. I think.

When you’re gone

As I mentioned in my previous post, TWO things were revealed to me yesterday…One was of course, the wedding-that-is-currently-the-talk-of-the-town, and the other was…

A close colleague of mine is leaving the Firm.

Next Friday!

And today I found out that apparently, I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW?! 😦

She was SOOOO fortunate she decided to tell me during lunch yesterday (nearly killing me with a sausage at it too!) cos when it came time to call it a day, another colleague blatantly asked her “When is your last day?”

Just IMAGINE if she hadn’t told me yet…

More than annoyed, more than anger, I would have been really really HURT. REALLY.

For me personally, I will make sure that if something BIG happens in MY life, something like, I don’t know, me leaving the job? (when we work together) or me leaving the country? or me getting married (which will not happen anytime soon so don’t bother asking! LOL.) I am sure to personally let those close to me be among the first to know…

That said, as I told her, she was THIS close to hurting me, but fortunately, she PERSONALLY told me before I heard it elsewhere (and it also helped that they didn’t hear it from her personally – you know how the “gossip” culture is like in offices, which I really really dislike fyi) so yeah…

THANKS SUE for being a good friend at work (and off)…

You were the first person to say Hi to me when I started working here…and now, with you going, who will accompany me for lunch? Huhuhu…

I’ll miss you… 😦

All the best with your new job starting next month!!!

And remember, whatever happened at your-soon-to-be-former-office stays at your-soon-to-be-former-office k! 😉

P.S. I’ll try very very hard not to cry on your last day…maybe if I started now it wouldn’t be so bad on the actual day? haha…I seriously doubt that…

Half a day has gone…

And what have I accomplished?

Well, considering it IS a workday where I should be doing work-related stuff, absolutely positively horrendously nothing! Zilch! Nada! Nil!

IT”S HORRIFIC I TELL YOU!

Bet you wanna know WHY I’ve been so “productive” huh?

Would you be satisfied if I told you that I hate my job, I hate my boss and I wish I didn’t have to go to work?

Would you be satisfied if I said I’m so swamped at work that I can’t breathe, can’t concentrate and the only thing keeping me sane is to whine about work on my blog?

Or would you rather me say that there actually is no reason for my unproductivity but that I’m just freaking lazy?

Honestly, I dont care what you think or prefer my reason to be! I am just not productive today and this is me venting cos I’m angry with myself for it!

No, I don’t HATE my job, or my boss. Nor do I LOVE it. Hate/Love are strong words. I’ve had good times, not-so-good times, great times and awful times – a well balanced relationship (I hope) – with regards to me and my job.

Yes, I am kinda swamped right now but not really with “work” work…more with “not-work” work that is taking up quite a lot of my time and efforts and energy…and as much as this “not-work” work is something that gives me joy and satisfaction, it can be really really draining sometimes…

Times like today in particular when I forsee I’ll be busy every weekend and even weekday (after office hours) from hereon till next year! Yes, I may sound like I’m complaining (and in a way I am) but again, I want to do these things! Just. That. I. Get. So. Tired. And. Frustrated. At. Times.

Doesn’t help also that my “monthly visitor” is here today…making my stomach feel like its been run-over by a bulldozer! Grrghhh!

So yes, all of the above is my crazy hormones talking…hopefully the second half of today can be productive! *cross fingers*